Hesitate
by leytonnaleybrulian
Summary: Elena Gilbert moves away from Mystic Falls after she loses her parents in a tragic accident as a kid. After six years she returns to her former home with her own demons and meets a boy with a tragic past Damon Salvatore who spins her whole world around. (previously titled coming home)
1. Chapter 1

**AU - No Vampires, Elena is fifteen and Jeremy is older in this he's seventeen. Stefan is fifteen and Damon is seventeen.**

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Dear diary, It was the last few days of summer before freshman year when my uncle John decided to move us back into the town I lost both my parents. My parents died in a car crash when I was nine years old and my brother was eleven. I was in the car with them but I managed to get out and I got really lucky. I don't even remember the crash. My brother Jeremy and I were forced to move to New York and we've been there ever since until now. I was so nervous to be back in a town with people I don't know anymore. Jeremy stayed in contact with a lot of his friends and was excited to come back. I was too young to really communicate with other kids long distance. It's hard to think about that in a few years I will have spent more years alive without my parents than with. I missed the way my mom would brush my hair when I was sick and the way my dad would encourage me to be anything I wanted to be. He use to tell me I was the most beautiful girl in the world because I was the best parts of my mom and him. It always made me feel better. I don't have many memories of them due to the crash which really hurts, forgetting parts of my past. My aunt Jenna visits us whenever she can and shares so many stories to keep the memory of my mom and dad alive. It's really nice and I know it's so hard on her, losing her big sister. Uncle John never wants to talk about my parents. He's really bitter and angry inside. John treats Jeremy and I like the burdens we try so hard not to be. My brother is a mess thanks to John. Jeremy drinks and smokes all the time after witnessing John being an alcoholic the past six years. I hoped this move would be a fresh start for them and maybe some change. Aunt Jenna lived pretty close to us with her fiancé Alaric so it comforted me to have her nearby just in case.

"Elena?" I heard my brother calling as he started unpacking the dishes.

I looked over at him as he held a pile of forks. "What?" I closed my dairy and stood up watching him put away the forks.

Jeremy raised his eyebrows. "Goofing off instead of helping out?" He tossed me a roll of paper towels to put away. "Very unlike you." He added, wondering if I was okay.

I unwrapped the roll and hung it. "I'm sorry, it's just an adjustment being back here." I looked around the kitchen we spent so many family dinners in. "In this town, in this house." I sighed.

Jeremy put his arms around me. "It's going to be fine Elena." He said softly trying to give me comfort. "We're home."

My brother was right. This was a good thing. I helped him unpack the kitchen. It was nice seeing my brother sober and not drunk or high all the time. Uncle John on the other hand was such a functional alcoholic, which meant he could down a twelve pack and still charm his way out of anything. He stuck us to unpack the entire house while he was out bar hopping. He use to be on the town council when we were young but he got fired for sleeping with the Mayor's wife. When he took us in he quit his bartender job and lived off of money left to us by our parents for awhile. Then he decided to get a job as a cop a few years ago and he kept it to much surprise. Jeremy and I was shocked no one noticed him coming to work drunk all the time. He decided to move back to Mystic Falls after he got offered a job down there. Which was lucky since his partner was getting suspicious of him.

A knock came from the front door and startled me. I went to answer it but was blocked by Jeremy. "What the hell Jere?" I said annoyed at my brother.

He looked at me confused. "It's for me okay?" Jeremy went to open the door but stopped and looked at me.

"Alright then." I raised my eyebrow and folded my arms.

"Can you scram?" He asked clearly wanting me out of his space.

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever." I went upstairs as I hear the door open and Jeremy greeting a brunette haired girl.

I spied on my brother for a few minutes noticing that he was being super friendly with her. I wondered how he managed to find a girl being in town for literally one day. I noticed her slipping him something. Great this fresh start wasn't going to be as fresh as I had hoped it to be. I went into my room and laid on my freshly made bed. I picked up my computer and scrolled on facebook. I looked at Jeremy's friends until I saw her the brunette down in my living room. Vicky Donovan, I knew that name. Her family was very close to ours growing up. She looked so shockingly different now. I guess it was all the partying and drugs. I remembered sharing a crib with her brother Matt. I wondered if he was still sweet as he use to be. I know I can't really except a group of nine year olds to stay the same but I thought a lot about my old friends. I hoped to run into him, Bonnie, and Caroline when school starts, if they all still lived here. I remember being so close to Bonnie and crying on her shoulder til the moment we're pulled apart. It was really hard losing my best friends on top of my parents.

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I woke up to screaming in the kitchen, I flew downstairs and saw my uncle John standing there with a broken plate.

"What the hell is this Elena?" He looked into my eyes with such disgust.

"What?" I said confusingly, It wasn't me who dropped the plate.

John grabbed the broom. "You and your stupid fucking brother can't even be left to unpack the dishes right?!" He screamed and tossed it, hitting me with the broom.

I shivered at the screams. "I'm sorry." I picked up the broom, trying not to make eye contact.

"You better be or your fat ass is never eating again." He spit on the ground and grabbed his beers. "Stupid fucking bitch." John added as he was leaving the room.

I sighed and cleaned up the mess. This was an often occurrence. Uncle John tends to treat me worst the Jeremy ever since he was big enough to fight back. I looked at the clock and it was about breakfast time. I begun making eggs and bacon for the guys. Jeremy and I are suppose to alternate days cooking but he's usually too high to care. John blames us both a lot but he usually puts it all on me because I'm a girl. I finished cooking and left the plates on the table for them, before going upstairs to shower and get ready for my first day of school. I ate a small breakfast. I was really insecure about my weight that my uncle never fails to comment on every time he insults me. I looked in the body length mirror hanging on my closet door after my shower and I stared at all of my imperfections and scars. I didn't feel comfortable in my own skin. I haven't felt pretty or wanted since the day I lost everything and moved in with John. I feared the idea of walking into my first day of high school and it being hell. I wanted a safe haven. The one I don't have in my own home.

I put on a pair of dark blue jeans and a red silky top, I walked to my closet and pulled out my mom's black leather jacket. I smiled big remembering all the high school pictures of her wearing this jacket. It was mine and I intended never taking it off. I put the jacket on and walked in front of the mirror.

"Wow." Jeremy says as he walked into my doorway. "You look so much like mom." He was overwhelmed as I was.

I looked at my brother. "I can't believe it." I always had many features of my mom but being in her clothes, being older. It felt different.

Jeremy pulled out his phone from his pocket. "Smile!" He said and I posed as he snapped a picture.

I laughed at my brother before grabbing my stuff and meeting him downstairs. I felt a little more myself in my moms clothes.


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up abruptly to the sound of heavy rock music blasting in my brother's room, I yawned and glanced over at the clock. I groaned from exhaustion, it was time to get up and get to school. I didn't sleep well last night, I was off worrying about too many things. I dreaded starting my last year of high school. I needed this year to fly by so I can start the rest of my life. Stefan was just starting tenth grade and it meant I only had one year left to keep him out of trouble in school and pull his head out of his ass. He was a really smart kid, smarter than I ever was in school but he gave up caring about it. I knew I could manage myself and my life after many years of working on myself but it's not easy convincing someone else to care. I threw on some black pants and a navy shirt. I ran around grabbing my things so I wouldn't be late. I walked out into the hallway and knocked on my brother's door.

"Stef?" I said opening the door to see my little brother sound asleep. I was blown away by his ability to sleep through anything. I switched off the music and grabbed his arm but nothing was working. I looked over at the nightstand and saw a glass of water. A smirk appeared on my face as I grabbed the glass and poured it on Stefan.

"What the fuck Damon!" He yelled, jumping up and got in my face.

I put my hand up to let him know to back off. "Simmer down Stefan and get ready for school." I demanded, leaving him in the room soaking wet.

"Thanks a lot asshole." Stefan said as I walked out of the room, I heard the door slam.

I went downstairs and looked around to see if there was any sign of my mother. I really wasn't surprised not to heard from her again. She's been in and out of our lives for the last two years. My brother and I are all each other really has left. Which is why I worry so much about Stefan and his bad attitude. I understood it, I once was as miserable as he is now. Our father being in prison has caused the whole family a lot of hurt. All of our relatives have distanced themselves with us because of all that mess he's made. Most of the town refuses to knowledge us. One more year of this and Stefan and I are escaping this town. I wanted to start a new life. I didn't care to be somewhere I wasn't wanted. I know when were away from this town that has been filled with bad memories we can both thrive.

Stefan and I pulled into the school parking lot and he jumped out of the car immediately to meet up with the cheerleaders. It was typical of him but I didn't care as long as he wasn't treating the girls like shit. The town was pretty judgmental when it came to my brother and I but the kids in school didn't care much. I think a lot had to do with the way I acted out when I was younger. I was a a pretty big jackass back then. Anyone that picked on Stefan or I for our father's mistakes, I would fight them. It wasn't the best use of my time but at least we don't have to deal with it anymore.

I got inside and took in my surroundings. The last time I had to have a first day of school. It was wild to me to think about how close I was to dropping out a number of times. I made it this halls crawled with freshmen trying to figure where they were going. I went to my old homeroom teacher's classroom to visit him before class had begun. Mr. Saltzman was my history teacher and I really looked up to him. When I was a freshmen he was one of the influences in my life that shaped me into the man I was today. I owed so much to him and he's been helping me get through to Stefan. I don't think I would have made it through high school without his help and guidance.

"Alaric?" I said as I walked into the empty quiet classroom, unlike the halls.

Alaric stood up and greeted me with a smile. "Damon, good to see you!" He exclaimed, patting me on the back.

"It's really good to see you too Rick. How was your summer?" I asked him and watched his face light up with joy.

Mr. Saltzman pulled out his phone and showed me pictures of him and his girlfriend. "I asked to my girlfriend Jenna to marry me a few weeks ago." He said proudly. "We're getting married soon enough."

I smiled and gave him a high five. "Wow! That's amazing, Congratulations!" I knew he was really happy and he deserved to be.

"Thanks, It's been a really good summer." Alaric bragged about how amazing Jenna was and how I was going to love her. "How have things been with you and Stefan?" His excitement turned to concern quickly.

I sighed. "It's been rough keeping him in line but he's better than I was." I thought about the previous years of destruction.

Alaric chuckled. "That's pretty damn good than." We both knew it would be pretty hard for someone to top my track record.

I cracked a smile. "Yeah I suppose." The bell rang and students started to fill the room. "I better go, I'll see you later in class." I said as he nodded his head and I headed out.

I walked down the hallway to get to my homeroom when I noticed a long brown haired girl with the most beautiful golden brown eyes I have ever seen. She was looking like a lost puppy as she stared at her map. I never noticed her before and in this small town everyone knows everyone. She must be new to town. "Hey, do you need help?" I offered as she looked up at me, hopeful.

She smiled softly. "Uh yeah I'm kinda lost." She pulled her hair out of her face and handed me her piece of paper.

I looked down and saw she was with Mr. Saltzman for homeroom. "It's around the corner, first door on the left." I said as I passed the paper back to her.

Our hands touched for a moment, her skin was really soft. "Thanks for the help." She said as our eyes locked.

The second bell rang and a rush of students who were hanging in the hallway till the last second broke our connection and she went off in the direction I sent her. She was really sweet. I ran along to my classroom and managed to make it before I was marked absent.

I scanned the room for familiar faces and rolled my eyes when I notice my ex, Vicky sitting across the room. Vicky and I dated for five months and then she broke my heart by sleeping with my younger brother. It was cruel and sickening for someone to go that low. It hurt that my brother could do that to me but I forgave him. I wasn't going to let her come between my only family. Vicky was always selfish and entitled. I thought she loved me to find out she slept with half the football team while we were still together. I've avoided her ever since. She loves to act like it was my fault the relationship fell apart.

I hoped Stefan was making out okay and not getting himself suspended on the first day like he did last year.

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 **Author's Note:**

 **Do you want me to continue? Please review and let me know. The story will be more in Elena's POV than anyone else.**


	3. Chapter 3

I walked into my homeroom and smiled seeing my soon to be uncle Alaric, greeted me with a smile. I sat quietly, staring at my book. I thought about the boy I had just met a few minutes ago. He was really nice to me and so handsome. I hadn't had a nice interaction with anyone in school before. I had experienced a lot of catty girls in the previous years of school. All the boys were jerks and it was nice to see that it might be different here. Alaric took roll call and as he said my name, a blonde haired girl darted her eyes towards me. I knew her face it was Caroline Forbes, one of my best friends growing up. I smiled at her and she just looked at me before turning her head.

When homeroom ended I sped up to catch up with Caroline. I stopped her in the hallway. "Caroline?" I said trying to get her attention as we continued walking.

She stopped in her tracks and looked me up and down. "Yes?" She said while folding her arms, her tone was snotty and I was taken aback.

I awkwardly played with my fingers. "I know you probably don't remember me but we used to be friends when I lived here." I said trying to jog her memory hoping she had just forgotten.

Caroline shook her head. "And I'm supposed to care about that for what reason?" She said with no care, just a mean girl eye roll.

My face was written in shock. "Okay, sorry that I bothered you." I turned around quickly and got out of there.

I didn't expect her to welcome me into being best friends or anything but that was cruel. I didn't remember the people here being so bitchy. I guessed that maybe I wasn't supposed to make new friends. That cute blue eyed boy was probably just a fluke. It was awful being so alone in this world. I have Jeremy and I know he cares for me but he's never reliable. I craved the idea of being more to someone, to anyone.

I carried on throughout the day. I noticed plenty of faces I recognized but I didn't approach them in fear of what happened with Caroline. I wasn't going to make that mistake again to no surprise no one recognized me. I began to realize I was doomed to being a loner for the rest of the year. When it came to be lunch time I ducked out of the cafeteria and went into one of the bathrooms. I rolled up my sleeves and reached for a razor out of my bag. I heard someone come into the bathroom and I quickly pretended like I was washing my hands.

She glanced over at me while she was drying her hands and she did a double take. "Elena?!" I looked over at her. "Elena Gilbert?" She asked to make sure she wasn't seeing things.

My eyes widen. "Bonnie!" I smiled really big, seeing my best friend after six years and her actually giving a fuck made me feel a whole lot better.

Bonnie embraced me in a warm hug. "What are you doing back here?" She asked me as we pulled away.

"My uncle got a job offer and we had to make the move back here." I explained how he was still the same jerk he was before. I left out the part of how worst he's become.

She smiled. "Wow, it's so good to see you Elena!" She went on.

I laughed. "You have no idea how happy I am to see you." I was thrilled to be reunited.

"Is it hard being back here?" Bonnie asked trying to tiptoe around the subject of my parents.

I nodded. "It's not easy but it's nice being reminded of my parents." I paused thinking about how much I missed them. "I'm sorry I never contacted you after we moved. There's been so much going on and I didn't know how to be a good friend." I apologized, knowing how easy it would have been to find her number over the years.

"No. Elena I completely understand, I could've done the same but I didn't want to remind you of the life you left behind." Bonnie explained that her intentions weren't to hurt me.

Bonnie caught me up on a lot about her life that I've missed. It was good to hear she was doing so good. She lived with her grandmother most of the time who I adored as kids. She always was so sweet and loving to Bonnie's friends. I was glad to hear she was still the same old grams. The bell rang after awhile but Bonnie promised to hangout this weekend and catch up even more. I felt a million times better about everything.

I left my final class of the day and walked outside the school waiting to see my brother, who was probably off doing who knows what. I noticed a boy standing behind me, watching me. I turned around and raised my eyebrow wondering what his deal was. "Can I help you?" I asked bluntly.

He was taken back a little but he adjusted to my bluntness. "No. Sorry I just never seen you before and I was curious, you know small town." He walked closer and extended his hand. "I'm Stefan." He hung his hand out for me to shake.

I reluctantly shook his hand. "Well I'm Elena and yes I'm new but I use to live here a long time ago." I informed him.

Stefan smirked. "So Elena, would you like to do something this weekend?" He asked me so suddenly with so much confidence that I didn't have an ounce of.

My face went blank. I never had been asked out before and he was attractive but I wasn't sure I was ready for all of that and I didn't even know this boy. "I'm sorry but I just don't know you that well." I said hoping to let him down easily.

His expression changed from confident to surprised. "That's what dates are for Elena. We can get to know each other then." He persisted.

I felt really uncomfortable. "I'm sorry but I don't think so." I tried to turn around but he walked in front of me.

He stared at my lips. "Come on don't be like that." Stefan shamed me for not being interested. Clearly he's never heard the word no before.

I backed up a little. "I said no." I clarified once more.

Stefan got pretty mad so I went to leave then he put his arm around my waist. "Hey! I'm not done talking to you."

I got really scared as he touched me. It makes me so uncomfortable and it still startled me. "Hey! Stefan! Leave her the hell alone." I heard come from behind me.

He let go and glared at me. "Whatever." He mumbled to the voice behind me before walking away to cool down.

I turned around and saw the blue eyed boy from this morning. "I'm so sorry for my brother's actions." He apologized.

I nodded my head. "It's okay. It wasn't your fault." I said trying to calm down.

"I know but he's been through a lot and I'm trying to straighten him out, teach him not to be an asshole." The blue eyed boy explained which I got completely with all the family drama I've suffered through.

"I understand I have a brother too, he's a mess but a work in progress." I laughed a little.

He smiled at me. "Well I hope our brother's get their shit together." We laughed and it felt nice.

"I'm Elena." I said softly.

"It's nice to meet you Elena, I'm Damon." I smiled at him.

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Damon's POV

I walked into the house after Stefan slammed the door behind me. He had his headphones on the entire drive home. I was so pissed with the way he treated Elena. It worried me. I didn't want my brother turning into someone that can treat a woman with so little respect. I walked inside and ran up the stairs going after Stefan.

"We aren't done here." I shouted at my little brother who was standing in his doorway with his arms folded.

"What's the point Damon?" Stefan asked. "You don't need to look out for me. I'm not your puppet, I'll do what I want." He continued to push me.

I shook my head. "Look kid, I've been where you have been and you know that. I'm not going to let you ruin your life over what life has dealt us." I tried to reason with him.

Stefan laughed me off. "I'm not you and I'm not acting out because dad's a sick freak and mom's a whore." He wasn't being honest with himself and I knew that.

I sighed. "If you keep doing dumb stuff Stef, people are going to catch on that it's pretty much just us." I explained, hoping Stefan would understand I only wanted to protect him.

"I know that Damon. I'm trying okay? But I don't need you breathing down my neck." He threw his hands up in frustration.

"I know you are and I'm proud of that but know my intentions are out of wanting to keep the only person I have left out of trouble." I pulled my little brother into a hug.

He pulled away after a quick second. "I'll try hard but please just give me some space." Stefan begged.

I nodded my head. "Okay fine. I'll give you some space but I don't want to see another repeat of today or else I'm going to not let you out of my sight." I agreed.

"Fair enough." My brother went off into his room.

This was all really hard on me being strong for Stefan. We had this big mansion all to ourselves but we both felt incredibly lonely. Our father made sure we were all taken care of but he left such a mess in our lives that money can't buy. Mother took her share and got the hell out of here. I missed having a loving family often, until I remember how much of it was just an illusion.


	4. Chapter 4

**TW: SH**

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I set my alarm and fell asleep as soon as I got home from school. I woke up about 3 hours later, feeling refreshed. I got up and went downstairs to make dinner. I took sleep whenever I could get it. It suppressed my emotions. It suppressed the urges to hurt myself. I boiled some water and heated up pasta sauce in the microwave. As soon as the water boiled I threw in the noodles and let them cook. While I waited, I made myself a bowl of yogurt with berries. The pasta finished cooking and I left it in the fridge for Jeremy and John. It grossed me out to cook it, I would never eat something like that. The amount of carbs made my stomach hurt just thinking about it. I scarfed down my yogurt as my stomach growled for more so I grabbed a banana. I washed the dishes and headed up to my room. I grabbed my dairy and started writing.

Dear diary, Today was okay and better than expected. I didn't harm myself four days clean. My classes were decent and I had Alaric for homeroom and history. It was cool getting to see my future uncle everyday. I knew him but not as well as I wanted to since we only saw Aunt Jenna on major holidays. I got to see Bonnie again and that was really nice. I guess other people weren't excited about my return but as long as she was, they didn't matter to me. I couldn't wait to reconnect with my best friend, I didn't even remember what it was like to have a best friend. I hoped greatly that things will go good as we get closer. I met a really nice guy and his jackass brother. Damon his name was, he had such a charm to him with these electric blue eyes. I felt the need to know him better. There was just this connection I felt so strongly. I wasn't use to that. I couldn't wait for the week to go by. Friday I was having dinner with Jenna and Alaric then possibly plans with Bonnie. Being back here hasn't been so bad. I think I'm going to like it.

I closed my diary as I heard the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs. My door flew open and Uncle John stood there with an angry look on his face. "Care to fill me in on why I got a call from Jenna today?" He sounded pissed off.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, trying to puzzle what this could be about. "What are you talking about?" I asked him.

He moved forward and pulled out his phone showing me a text message saying that she wanted him to come to dinner Friday night and there was much to talk about. "What did you tell her?!" He yelled in my face.

I closed my eyes, feeling the heat coming from his breath as he screamed. "I don't know." I said with fear in my voice. "I didn't do or tell her anything." I hadn't talked to Jenna about how horrible it is here. My body was shaking.

John stared at me with disgust. "You better fucking keep your little mouth shut Elena." He raised his hand and slapped my cheek with all his force.

He watched the tears form in my eyes. "You need to leave." I walked to my door and pulled it open so he could leave. My skin burned with heat from the slap. "Please go." I pleaded in fear.

His eyes were filled with rage. "It'll do what I want when I want to." John put his hands on my shoulders and slammed me into the wall. "Watch your mouth, Elena." He winked before he left the door, slamming the door.

I winced in pain as I slid up from the wall. My back and shoulders hurt so badly. I went and laid on my purple sheets, lying on my stomach for relief. I cried for awhile being so fearful of him coming back. I waited and waited for my brother to come home. John never laid a finger on me when he was here but Jeremy often wasn't home, clearly. I never talked about this side of John to him. I was too scared of what Jeremy would do if he knew about it. I didn't want him to go crazy and attack John for what he's done. Since John was a police officer I knew he could bury things if he needed to.

Jeremy returned home two hours later and I knocked on his door. "Jeremy?" I whispered as I walked in pacing myself, it was pretty late now.

He sat on his bed, pulling off his shoes. "Elena! How was your first day?" Jeremy asked he was slurring his words.

I sighed. "You're wasted." I looked down in disappointment.

Jeremy cocked his eyebrow. "What happened to your cheek?" He asked me with concern, trying to stand up but fumbling.

I rolled my eyes. "It's nothing." I lied and looked at my older brother. "But this version of you is constantly disappointing and sad." I could tell he felt bad but I just left the room.

I couldn't take anymore of this. I sat on my bed and pulled out a box from underneath. I opened it and pulled out a razor. I took a deep breath between my sobs and sunk the blade into my skin. I made small cuts on my wrists and bigger ones on my thighs. My wounds were burning but I didn't stop. When I calmed down, I put the stuff away and grabbed a towel for the blood. I felt numb. I laid in my bed and stared at the ceiling until I fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning, groaning in pain. I was feeling so stiff and sore. My face was sticky from all the crying. I woke up early enough to soak my sore muscles in the longest bath ever. I lower myself in the steaming hot bath. It was hot but I knew it do wonders for sore muscles. As soon as I got out I looked into the mirror and saw a mark still on my face. I knew the marks and cuts on my body were easily covered up by clothes. I dried my hair and tried to cover my cheek up with makeup. It wasn't the best attempt but it'll do. I put on jeans and a long sleeve blue top before I put on my jacket. I popped a couple Advil to help the pain. My stomach growled but I ignored it as I wanted to get to school. I figured Jeremy could make John breakfast this time. I didn't want to be around food and he owed me.

"Elena?" Jeremy said softly, standing in the doorway.

I glanced at him up at him from my chair with no emotion. "What?" I looked away almost immediately.

He crouched down in front of me. "Please Elena, I'm so sorry for last night. I know I promised you that it would be different here but I got caught up in things again." Jeremy begged for forgiveness.

I shook my head, laughing with no humor. "No! It doesn't work like that Jeremy. You can't just keep apologizing and then going out and doing the same stuff." I was angry and hurt by his action, partying, drugs and drinking.

He nodded his head and sighed. "I know I messed up." I could tell he did feel bad but it doesn't excuse anything.

"You're my big brother. You're supposed to set an example, be a good influence." I explained. "This side of you isn't the same Jeremy that use to look out for me." I missed the brother that would defend me to John when he would rant about how awful we were. I missed how he would help out and make less work for myself. I missed having the strong bond we had and I missed not having to worry about him overdosing or doing something stupid.

Jeremy hung his head in shame. "Elena I-" He ran his fingers through his hair.

"You are going to cook uncle John breakfast and take me to school, that's all I need from you." I looked Jeremy in the eye. "Then you can go back to partying and not being there for your own family." I put on a fake smile before I went into my bathroom to get away from my brother.

I didn't know how much more of this I could take. I love Jeremy and I know he cares deeply for me but he's being so selfish. I know it's hard to change habits and addictions but I thought I was important enough to him for him to not give in so easily. I knew a lot of it had to do with our parents passing and John being such a dick. It's been six years and he needs to move on from it. He needs to get control of his addictions and partying. I can't do this alone and I can't lose another person I love.

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 **Author's Note:**

 **Please review and let me know what you think and what you want to see more of. More reviews faster updates :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:**

 **So the story takes place in 2009 like the show. The flashback is 2003 the year Elena and Jeremy left town with John**

 **trigger warning it's dark | forgive the darkness with a cute delena scene at the end | Happy Valentine's Day!**

* * *

 **Flashback *2003***

 **The** **Salvatore** **House**

I woke up to screaming coming from the living room it was mother's voice. I was terrified by it. It was just after 1 am and the guests from dinner had to have left hours ago. I didn't know what was wrong but something felt wrong. I feared for her safety and my brothers, I ran out of my room and into Stefan's. He was sound asleep thankfully. I shook him awake so we could hide.

"Stefan?" I said as my little brother tossed and turned. "Get up!" I shook his body once more.

He rubbed his eyes. "Damon? What is it?" Stefan asked, concerned once he saw the look on my face.

I calmed down not to share my fear with my nine year old brother. "Something's not right Stefan." I warned him. We heard more screams.

He shot up. "What happened?!" Stefan panicked.

I shushed him. "Be quiet. We have to hide" I took his hand and we sat in the closet.

"What about mommy and daddy?" Stefan asked innocently.

I swallowed the fear. "Mom and dad will be fine." I had to look out for Stefan and I.

We hurt a loud gunshot. My throat fell into my stomach and Stefan started to cry. "It'll be okay Stef." I reassured him but I knew that I had to know what was going on. "I'm going to check it out." I stood up.

Stefan's eyes widened. "No!" He yelled. "Please don't leave me." My brother begged.

I rubbed his shoulder. "I'll be okay bud but I need to know that you'll stay in here and be safe." I looked for his promise.

He nodded. "Okay." I saw the fear in his eyes.

I closed the closet door and slipped out of the bedroom, locking the door behind me. I had to be brave. I wasn't going to let Stefan get hurt. I slowly went down the hallway and looked down the stairs. I saw a woman's body laying there, covered in blood. My whole body was shivering in fear. I saw my mother crying over the body. My eye widened, I didn't understand what was going on. My father was screaming from the other room.

"You made me do it this!" He shouted as my mom cried and cried. I begun to understand that my father had killed this woman.

My mother turned around and faced him. "I need you to leave Giuseppe. We have children sleeping upstairs." She pleaded for Stefan and I.

Father came into my vision right at that moment, gun in hand. "You and I both know I can't do that." He held the gun up to my mother.

My eyes widen, I was scared but I wasn't going to let my mother get killed. I ran downstairs as fast as I could. "Stop!" I yelled to my parents.

Mother looked at me with fear. This was the last place she wanted me to be. "Damon! Go back upstairs." She yelled at me, my father was shocked to see me.

I looked around the room and my body froze. I couldn't fathom if I was dreaming or not. There was blood everywhere, bodies on the floors, bloody knives and I couldn't believe my eyes. My mother grabbed me and buried my face into her to protect me from what I had seen.

I heard my father's footsteps. "Get him out of here." He whispered to my mother and grabbed me, hurrying up the stairs.

She put me top before we reached the top. I was shaking. "Damon, you and your brother need to stay up here and hide." She pleaded.

I snapped out of the shock I was in. "Mom! What is going on? I'm scared." I cried.

She stood there strong. "Don't be. I'll be okay." My mother was so sure. "He's sick and unpredictable. I'm going to get him out of here and send the police. Trust me Damon." I shook my head yes.

She went back downstairs. I walked back to Stefan's room to hide and the door was open. I freaked out and searched for him. I looked for a phone in my parents room to call the police but it was disconnected. I checked my room and still no Stefan, I was frantic. I feared that he was downstairs looking for me. I came back to the staircase to find Stefan standing there covered in blood. My eyes widened and I went over to him to make sure he was okay.

"Stef?" I stared at my brother, not seeing any wounds. "You went down there?! I told you not to." He wasn't responding.

* * *

 **Present day**

I woke up in a sweat, shaking. I hadn't had that dream in awhile but this whole thing with Stefan acting out has got me on edge. It takes a toll on me reliving those memories of my father and his sick nature. I didn't want to have to go back to therapy but it might be a good idea. Stefan did really well in therapy when he was younger but I lost my way and then so did he. I got ready for school to see Stefan already had left. I checked my phone and saw he got a ride from Caroline. She might be a bitch but she wasn't going to allow him to treat her badly so it was fine with me.

I met with my guidance counselor at lunch to change my electives. He put me in a study hall so could make sure to get all my work done in time to graduate in the spring. Due to the advice of Mr. Saltzman. I walked into my new study hall and noticed it was mostly freshmen and sophomores. I sat down at an empty table and pulled out my history homework.

"Damon?" I looked up and saw the beautiful Elena standing next to me.

A smile quickly formed on my face, I needed that after the crappy day I've had. "Are you in this class?" I asked her and she nodded. "That's awesome."

She sat down next to me, pulling out a book. "I'm glad I have a familiar face around her." Elena smiled as she opened the book and started reading.

"So you are new to this town then? I thought so, I would've remembered seeing a beautiful face like yours." I flirted with her and her attention on the book faded quickly.

She blushed. "I just moved back into town. I've been gone for the last six years but I'm home now." Elena informs me.

I realized that meant she probably didn't know of all the rumors and that's why she was being so nice to me. "Where'd you move back from?" I asked her.

"New York." Elena closed her book, putting it away.

"City girl? This small town is not going to suit you very well." I chuckled.

Elena laughed. "I'm definitely no city girl. I didn't enjoy it there very much."

"Why not?" I asked her as I was curious since I wanted to get out of this town.

Her smile faded and she looked sad. "When I lived there I felt like I was trying so hard to try and keep from drowning all of the time and no one could see me." She explained so deeply. "All of those people, passing you by and you feel so lonely." Elena took a deep breath.

I understood what she felt and was incredibility taken back by her ability to be so open and honest with me after just meeting each other. "Wow I'm-"

Elena cut me off. "I'm sorry that went too deep too quickly."

"No don't apologize for opening up. That's a great quality to have." I commended her. "I happen to relate to that feeling you say you fault. I understand." I saw her face light up.

"Really? I'm sorry about that. I know that it hurts to feel that pain of being lonely in a crowd of people." She was genuinely sorry for me.

"I'm sorry you feel that way too." I really liked talking to her she wasn't like every girl she was special.

We talked more about New York and our fucked up brothers. We both didn't let it get deeper which I was thankful for. Not because I didn't want to know more about her, I did but I wasn't easily so ready to talk about myself. The less people that knew about the past, the better. Elena was sweet and a really good listener. I enjoyed talking to her and getting to know her. It felt really natural.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:**

 **I edited some of the story not much but maybe look it over! Please review if you want the next chapter.**

* * *

I opened myself up to Damon today, which was so odd for me to do. I felt so comfortable telling him things and I didn't really understand why. I felt like he heard me unlike so many others. Not that I had many others in my life. I wanted to ask him out but I'm afraid of rejection. I have a lot going on in my life so maybe dating wasn't the best idea anyway. He's so handsome and I'm sure he was way more experienced than me in so many different ways. I was also kind of a freak but I feel like he got that somehow. I wanted to get to know him better.

Suddenly it was a Friday night and I arrived at aunt Jenna's house for dinner with Jeremy. I was shocked when I got my brother to actually leave the house for anything that wasn't for his own benefit. Uncle John bailed on dinner but that was no surprise to me.

"Aunt Jenna!" I smiled and she welcomed us with warm hugs.

"Please make yourselves at home guys!" She exclaimed as she closed the door and we walked into the living room. It felt more at home here than it did at our actual home. "Where's John?" Jenna asked noticing the 170 pound of deadweight missing in action.

"He's working." Jeremy said without hesitation. After all these years we had quick lies always ready to go for that man. It was pretty sad when you think about it.

"Oh that's a shame." Alaric said sarcastically as he walked into sight. They never got along.

Jenna turned around and greeted Alaric with a kiss. "Hello there." She smiled, they were sickeningly sweet it reminded me of my parents.

We all sat on the couch. "If you guys don't mind I invited a student over for dinner. He's had it rough lately and I thought he could use a night away from it all." Alaric explained.

"Of course we don't." I said looking over at Jeremy who agreed with me.

"Okay I'm glad I didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable but I thought he could use a friend." Alaric looked over at Jeremy.

"Uh sure." Jeremy said and I rolled my eyes.

I loved my brother but he was not the best person to be friends with if you were going through a hard time. He would only be a bad influence to anyone he makes friends with. I excused myself to the bathroom. I needed a minute to myself to grasp everything going on. It was hard to be around Jenna and Alaric. They were so happy and I was happy for them but it didn't make it easy to watch. I missed being happy. I was so depressed with every aspect of my life, seeing others happier made me sad. I rolled up my sleeve and I grabbed a razor from my purse. I winced as I made a few fresh cuts. The blood dripped down the sink drain. I felt relieved and I cleaned myself up. I fixed my make up and took a deep breath before walking back out of the bathroom.

The doorbell rang. "Elena can you get that?" Aunt Jenna yelled from the kitchen.

I opened the door and I stood face to face in front of Damon. "Elena?" He said, confused as he looked at me with those electric blue eyes.

This was the student Alaric had been referring to. "Damon-" We were interrupted by Alaric.

"Damon!" Alaric shook his hand and invited him in. "I see you met my niece to be Elena." He said, closing the door.

Damon's eyes widened. "I didn't realize." He darted his eyes toward me.

I half smiled. "Nice to see you again." I couldn't take my eyes off of him.

It was weird watching my brother act so normal for a night. What an act and bravo at his performance. Jeremy really pulled it off. He looked like he fit here with Jenna and Alaric. They were all genuinely smiling and having a good time. I couldn't let myself experience that kind of happiness since I lost my parents. I felt so numb in so many ways. I wished to be normal and not some tragic story. Damon glanced over to me, I caught his eyes. I felt like he was reading my face.

After awhile we had finished dessert and Jeremy went outside with Jenna to see her garden as Alaric went to take a phone call.

I sat next to Damon on the couch. "So you and Alaric are friends?" I asked him. It was different.

Damon nodded. "Yeah I mean he's seen me at my worst." He paused as he took a breath. "He's done a hell of a job keeping me on a good path." I could tell that he was struggling with something but wasn't ready to talk about it.

I smiled. "I'm glad he's been here for you." I thought about asking him more but he would tell me if he wanted me to know. I understood the feeling of being terrified of opening up to others.

"So aunt Jenna huh?" He smirked and I rolled my eyes. "Your brother doesn't seem as bad as you described him to be." Jeremy fooled everyone.

"He's just putting on an act for Jenna." I sighed wishing for normalcy.

Damon rested his hand on my shoulder. "If you ever need to get him in check I really don't mind talking to him but Mr. Saltzman is a really good guy. He would straighten Jeremy out." He offered to help in anyway he could.

"Thanks. Maybe I'll take you up on that but right now there's a lot going on." I didn't want anyone getting too close to the situation we have going on at home.

"I understand." He said.

I felt like he got me unlike anyone else. It was so intense the way I was able to speak to him without feeling anxious. I always wanted to keep to myself but with Damon, that wasn't what I wanted.

"I guess they're going to leave us here alone all night." I laughed nervously.

Damon chuckled. "What are you doing next Friday?" He asked me with his intoxicating charm.

I smirked. "What do you have in mind?" I was thrilled.

"Dinner but this time just you and me." He offered.

I couldn't hold back a smile. "I'd love to."

I felt like I was on cloud 9. I actually was excited about something.

* * *

Damon's POV

I made my way home after dinner with Alaric and his family. It was a great surprise seeing Elena there. I was so intrigued by her and that beautiful smile of hers. She's absolutely stunning and so kind. I was really looking forward to getting to know her and our date. I hoped that she would get to know me before she started hearing people talk about me. I knew that was coming but I didn't want to miss my shot with her. I deserved better than these girls that I've dated in the past. I deserved to find someone that would accept me despite my past and I feel like I could find that with Elena. She just had to know who I was before someone made her mind up for her.

"Stefan? You home?" I called out for my brother as I walked into my dark house.

I walked upstairs to his room and saw him passed out in bed. His fists were bleeding. I looked around and saw a few holes in the wall. I sighed and grabbed the blanket, covering my little brother up. I wanted so desperately to be able to help him through this but he was fighting it so hard.

I shut the door and went into my own room. This house was making both of us so miserable. It was so hard to put your trauma passed you when you walked the halls it happened in everyday. If it was this arduous for me I can't imagine how it has been for Stefan. I knew the second we left this town our lives would be better. I counted the days till it was time to leave.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:**

 **Review if you would like another update!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Trigger warning**

* * *

Elena's POV

Jeremy and I got home pretty late from Jenna's. We stayed longer than expected, reminiscing about my parents. It was such a good night once I got out of my own head. It's always so difficult to get out of my head. My mind is always filled with worries and negativity. I wasn't use to having exciting things going on around me. I was so excited about my date with Damon next week that I wasn't even dreading coming home like I normally did. I was on a natural high of finally having something good in my life. Something that no one can take away from me. It felt really nice. Damon actually liked me for me. That was something so unexpected. When Jeremy and I walked inside the house we were surprised by Uncle John, who was not pleased.

"Where have you been all night?" John questioned as his words slurred and his breath filled the room with alcohol. This wasn't a surprise.

"We went to Jenna's for dinner. You were suppose to come with us." Jeremy filled him in. "Don't worry we covered for you." My brother rolled his eyes.

I hung back trying to not get involved. I prefered to stay as invisible as I could be but it didn't last long.

"Whatever. Go make me something to fucking eat in this house." John said turning to me.

I nodded my head and walked into the kitchen heating up chicken from the other day in the oven. This was the last thing I wanted to do right now but I'd rather cook him dinner than get screamed at. Jeremy went upstairs and it was clear he was jonesing. It really pissed me off. I was really tired of this shit. I was reaching my breaking point and decided to give Damon a call. It was out of character for me but he puts me in a better mood. He makes me feel special.

It went to voicemail and I checked the clock figuring he went to sleep but I left a voicemail anyway. "Hey Damon. I don't mean to be too forward but if you're free I'd love to do something tomorrow. I don't want to wait till next Friday to see that handsome smile of yours. Give me a call tomorrow. I'll be home." I hung up the phone.

I knew Jeremy would be out with his friends and John worked Saturday afternoon. It was the perfect timing. I was actually proud for putting myself out there more. It was easier knowing he was now interested in me but it still is so new and exciting. I boiled water for macaroni and cheese then went to grab the chicken out of the oven when I heard footsteps. Suddenly I felt hot breath, breathing down on my neck. I gulped and tried to turn around but John grabbed my arm. I expected him to hit me but he didn't.

"I've never seen you so dressed up Elena." He whispered in my ear and I was instantly uncomfortable. "You look like a woman."

Chills fill my body. "John-"

He grabbed my ass with his free hand. I jumped out of my skin. He chuckled.

"My little sweet Elena is all grown up now." He turned me around staring at the cleavage showing. This was a new low for him.

I was shaking as I stared at my uncle. "Please let me go." I begged as tears filled my eyes.

"Now why would I do that." He was smirking at me knowing that I was a helpless stupid girl.

John pulled me by my hair into the living room and threw me onto the couch. My stomach was in knots and my hands were sweating. He got on top of me. My skin was crawling. I tried to get up but his grip was so tight. I cried and cried before he put his hand over my mouth. All I could hear is my brother's music blasting so loud that no one was going to hear me.

"You look so much like your mother." John kissed my neck and rubbed my thigh with his icy cold hands. Each touch made me feel sick to my stomach.

I had never experienced this type of fear before. I kicked and tried to fight him off. He was frustrated with my struggling and punched me in the stomach. I winced in pain. He continued to kiss me and I was too afraid to keep fighting. He pulled his shirt off and threw it across the room. I watched him touch me and all I could do was take it. I couldn't stop shaking. John tore my black dress down. I felt so violated, disgusted and exposed. Just when I had given up and accepted that I wasn't going to be able to stop this the smoke alarm went off. I had then smelt smoke. I realized the food was still cooking. John was caught off guard and he jumped off me. I was in shock but I stood up and pulled my half ripped dress up. John grabbed the fire extinguisher and I watched him freak out asking me to help him. I stood there and didn't react. The fire was very small but could've gotten out of hand if he didn't react quick enough. Jeremy ran down the stairs my eyes widened but I felt relieved knowing that John wouldn't touch me with him here.

"What happened?!" Jeremy asked as he saw John putting out the small kitchen fire. He looked at me confused.

"Ask your sister. She's a terrible cook." John yelled over the smoke alarm.

I looked at my brother with fear and noticed his eyes. "Are you okay Elena?" He was high as a kite but he still could tell something was wrong with me.

"She's fine Jeremy." John said as the smoke alarm finally stopped. He picked up his shirt and looked at my brother and I.

I held my dress up with one hand and reached for my brother with my other hand. "I'm just really tired and shaken up from the fire." I walked into my brother's arms as he gave me a hug. I felt some of the anxiety fade as my brother comforted me.

Jeremy watched the look of fear in John's eyes. He had never seen that before in his uncle. Something was wrong but he was not in his right mind to figure it out. "Let's get you to bed." Jeremy said as he let go.

We went upstairs and Jeremy tucked me into bed. "Are you sure you're okay?" You seem upset." That was the understatement of the century.

I convinced him everything was okay but it wasn't even close to being okay. I was it was nice seeing my brother give a fuck about me for a change. "Jere?" I said as he was about to leave.

"Yeah?" He yawned.

I choked down the fear in my voice. "Can you stay in here tonight?" He nodded and grabbed some blankets and make a bed on the floor next to my bed.

"Sleep tight little sis." He reached up and rubbed my hand.

I fell asleep but woke up every time I heard any noise. I was always terrified of John but now my fear was different. It was scary when he was just abusive but living in the same house as the man who tried to rape me is unbearable. I was so scared I was going to wake up to him on top of me again. I just wanted to sleep. I was so tired but I couldn't fall back asleep. I'm so afraid to wake up to another beating or worse. I was scared to hear that my brother overdosed. It seemed like each day came with more and more misery. Something bad always happened. I couldn't live like this for the rest of my life. I wanted to be happy and normal. I didn't know how much longer I could stand to be around. I looked on the floor and watched my brother sleep peacefully. I quietly reached into my desk and I grabbed the pocket knife out. I made a few new fresh cuts. I watched the blood flow out of my veins. It stun but I felt relieved. I realized I cut too deep a moment later as I felt lightheaded. My head fell onto the pillow and I was barely conscious.


	8. Chapter 8

Damon's POV

I woke up to a new voicemail from Elena. I smiled and played it. She wanted to see me I couldn't get Elena off my mind. I didn't want to wait a week to see her either. I wanted to spend as much time as I could with her. I called her after I got out of the shower but it went to voicemail. I texted her asking her to give me a call when she could. I went to check on Stefan as I was worried about him from what I witnessed last night. He wasn't in his room and his bed was made. The mess was cleaned. I was shocked. I went downstairs to see Carolina in the kitchen cooking breakfast. Stefan was laughing and smiling. His hands were bandaged up. Carolina sat down next to him and placed two plates down. It's so nice to Stefan laughing. It gave me so much hope for him to change. I stepped back and grabbed my coat and keys. There was no way I was interrupting this. I figured I might just go surprise Elena since she did invite me over.

I pulled up to her house and rang the doorbell. A few seconds later her brother Jeremy ran out of the house yelling that he was late. He was clearly hungover and wearing the same clothes as last night. I shrugged my shoulders and walked inside. I didn't want to invade her family's privacy but I wanted to make sure everything was okay. I looked around and saw the kitchen was covered in ash and the living room was a mess. I wonder what happened but I figured Elena would catch me up. I walked up the stairs and noticed a door was peaked open. I still knocked before I peaked in and saw Elena laying on her bed.

"Elena?" I said while not wanting to walk into her room without permission but she didn't answer.

I walked in and as I got closer I saw blood everywhere. It took me back to that night. It felt like I was a scared kid again. I snapped out of it knowing she needed my help. It was all over her arms and bed. She was out cold. The blood was all dry and dark. I panicked and felt her pulse. It was normal. The bleeding had stopped but there was still a lot of blood loss. I rubbed her head and called her name. "Elena? Please wake up." I reached for the phone to call 911 when she stirred. I dropped the phone and stroked her hair. "Elena can you hear me?" I asked her with fear in my voice.

"Damon?" She whispered softly with her eyes still shut.

A sigh of relief came over me. "I'm so glad you're alive." I looked at her wounds. I knew they were self inflicted.

She shot up. "Damon! What are you doing here?" Elena panicked and pulled her bed sheet over her body to try and hide what we both knew had happened.

"Elena it's okay. You're okay." I reassured her but she was still tense. "I got your voicemail and I came over when you didn't answer."

A tear fell from her face once she realized what was happening and that I knew what she did to herself. "You should go." She looked down.

I wiped the tear from her face. "I'm not going anywhere. You don't have to be ashamed." I broke my heart to see this girl cry.

"But I am." She looked at me with her tear stained face. "I wanted you to get to know me before you saw me like this."

"It doesn't change how I feel about you Elena." I half smiled to reassure her of my feelings. "I still want to get to know you." I cared for Elena.

"Are you sure?" Elena was surprised as she was sure I would've been out the door already by now.

"I'm not lying to you Elena. I care about you. It's been a short amount of time but I feel like we understand each other and that's rare to find." I looked at her as she nodded.

"I know what you mean." She said looking at her bloody sheets.

"Let me help you." I pulled the sheet off her body.

Elena looked at me. "I didn't try and kill myself. This is what I do to cope with things." She explained. I knew she was uncomfortable but I was glad she was opening up to me.

I didn't understand why it made sense but I knew she was being truthful. I grabbed a first aid kit and some towels. I helped her into the bathroom and washed the blood off her arms in the sink. She flinched at the pain. I cleaned her cuts and saw a lot of scars on her arms. I felt so bad this girl was hurting herself. I wanted to help her.

"We should really get you to a hospital to stitch this up." I mentioned with little faith.

"I've had worse." She laughed with no humor. That sentence worried me.

"How long have you been doing this to yourself Elena?" I looked at her, terrified as I stared at her cuts.

"Years." She gulped, ashamed in herself and embarrassed.

I didn't understand it and I didn't know what to do. "Why?" This was the only thing I could think of. I could tell this was taking a lot out of her.

She sighed. "When I cut myself, I feel like I'm in control of the pain I experience. I'm in control and no one else is. The physical pain is an outlet for all the emotional pain." Elena opened up to me.

I took in what she was saying. It made sense. "Can you stop? Do you need help from a professional?" I had so many questions but I didn't want to scared her into pulling away from me.

Elena looked down. "I never tried to stop. I never had a reason to stop." She tried to hide her arms again.

I took her hand and looked at the scars and cuts all over her wrist. "It's okay you don't have to hide. Can you try to stop hurting yourself?" I asked her. "It breaks my heart to see you doing this to yourself." I swallowed.

"It's not that easy Damon." Elena explained.

I nodded. "I wish I could help you."

"Are you going to leave?" She asked with tears in her eyes.

My eyes widened. "No I would never. I'm here for you Elena no matter what." She looked relieved to have someone on her side.

I kissed the tears off of her face and pulled her into my arms. We stayed like that for awhile. I wanted her to feel better to feel loved.

Elena's POV

I laid in Damon's loving arms and the pain just faded away that easily. The last thing I wanted to do was introduce him to this side of me before he even met the good parts of me. I wanted him to know the girl that would make my parents proud. It meant everything to me that he didn't scare away. He didn't run or scream. He comforted me. He took care of me. I haven't had someone care about me like this in a long time. He didn't look at me like i was crazy. He looked at me normally. I didn't know what I did to deserve such compassion from this boy I admire more than anything. The way he made me feel I wasn't even scared of what he thought of me because he showed me today that he thinks the world of me. I've never felt this way before. After everything that happened yesterday with John and how traumatic it was faded away when I was in his arms. I've never felt more safe and wanted. I can't believe there are people in this world as caring and loving as Damon Salvatore. I had to know this boy better. He's extraordinary I wanted to know what made him who he is.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Please review or I will not continue**


	9. Chapter 9

Elena's POV

Damon and I spent the day talking about my self harm. He didn't want to leave me until he felt like I was going to be okay. I kept explaining to him that self harm doesn't mean I'm suicidal. He was still concerned about me hurting myself. I promised him that I'll call him the next time I feel like doing it. I don't know if I can keep that promise but I knew I was going to try. I had to get out of the house and I was still up to go out so I got changed. We went out to dinner once it got darker. I also didn't want John to come home and see him there.

"This place is so nice." I smiled over at him. He made me feel so giddy.

Damon sipped on his iced tea. "Yeah and the food is really good." He looked over at me. "You're so beautiful you know that?"

I blushed. "And you're sexy as hell." He chuckled.

I took a bite of my turkey club. The fries were heavenly. Damon got a burger. It was nice being here with him. It was one of those fancy diners with romantic lighting. There was lanterns hanging up on the ceiling of the entire diner. Today has felt so magical. Damon made me forget about my life when I'm with him. I felt like I was the luckiest girl in the world.

"I so don't want to be that girl that over analyzes everything but I'm kinda that girl." I babbled to Damon. "What are we? I haven't had relationships before and I'm new at this and I know we haven't known each other very long but today was intense."

Damon was smiling at my question. "What do you want us to be?" He didn't want to push me if I wasn't ready.

I took a deep breath. "I mean I would like to be your girlfriend if you'll have me." I was so nervous but excited.

"I would love nothing more than to have someone as great as you to be my girlfriend." He took my hand. It was sweaty but he didn't care.

"Really?" I was questioning if anything was real at this point because I felt like I was on cloud 9.

"Of course." He didn't hesitate.

"And I'm not going to be a burden?" I had to make sure he wasn't doing this just to be nice.

He shook his head. "Elena you will never be a burden to me. I promise you that."

We finished eating and he walked me home.

"And here we are!" Damon announced as we walked up to my house.

"I suppose we are." I faked a smile. I didn't want to be home but this night was really special and I didn't want to bring him down.

"I really enjoyed spending time with you today." He spoke softly.

"This day has been really great Damon. Thank you for everything." I smiled softly. "I know the things you'd have to deal with by dating me aren't easy to handle but it means the world to me that you didn't runaway." I nearly teared up. I was so touched by this amazing man's compassion.

He looked me in the eyes. "I really like you Elena. I've never felt the way I feel about you with anyone else before." I smiled. "I don't care that dating you wouldn't be easy to most guys but you're special and I'm not going to let the fact that you have problems change the way I feel about you." Damon caressed my face and pulled me into a kiss.

 _Dear dairy,_

 _The past day has been a rollercoaster of emotions. John sexually assaulted me. If the fire in the kitchen didn't break out he would've raped me. The whole time he's been our guardian he's never done anything like that. He hurts me but he's never done that. I was terrified and I didn't know what to do. I had all this bottled up inside of me. I hurt myself so bad that I passed out. Damon found me and he was so kind about it. I didn't want to burden him but he told me I could never be a burden. I have been called a burden for years so for Damon to tell me I wasn't, meant everything to me. Almost everything in my life is terrible. I'm so afraid to be in my own home. I can't fight the urge to self harm. I'm not doing okay. John is a monster. I'm so afraid of what he'll do to me. Jeremy is constantly letting me down. The one thing I have, the one thing good in my life is Damon Salvatore. After everything I've been through it Damon was a breath of fresh air. He was the only one that listened to me. He's the only one that can really see me. I'm head over heels._

* * *

Damon's POV

I watched Elena walk into her house with the biggest smile on my face. She's so special and incredible. I felt so lucky to be with her. I know it's not going to be easy especially watching her struggle and having all this pain but I understand. She's worth it all. Elena made me forget about problems and trauma when I'm with her. She made me laugh and smile. I can't remember ever feeling this happy. I felt like I could open up to her about my past but I didn't want to overwhelm her when she's dealing with her own problems. It helps knowing when I do tell her that she will be there for me.

I got home and walked into the living room. I turned on the light. Stefan was sleeping on the couch. I kicked his leg to wake him up.

"Leave me alone." He said groggy.

"Wake up bud." I said tussing him a bag of leftovers from the dinner. Stefan sat right up and stuffed his face with cold fries. "Come on dude. Use a plate."

He rolled his eyes and got up. "Fine"

I followed him to the kitchen. "So where did Caroline go?" I noticed his mood changed from this morning and the perky blonde missing.

My brother put his food on the plate before putting it in the microwave. "She had a date." Stefan yawned.

"A date? I thought you were dating her?" I said confusingly. I grabbed two waters from the fridge.

Stephan grabbed his food and sat at the table. "We aren't exclusive. She can do what she wants." He sipped his water.

"Really and her sleeping with another guy doesn't bother you?" I asked him. I couldn't imagine it not bothering me.

"As long as I can sleep with her and other girls, I don't care at all." Stefan said as he ate his food.

I didn't buy a word he said. He cared I know he did. My brother was so happy this morning and it was so nice to see that. Caroline made him happy and I can tell this was hurting him. I just wanted to help him but this is the one thing I can't do for him. I can't get in the middle of his relationships.

I spent time with my brother and made sure he did his homework. I took a shower then laid on my bed after. As I laid there my mind traveled to that bad place in my head. I had images in my head from that night with my dad. I felt it hard to catch my breath and I felt dizzy. My chest tightened as I hyperventilated. I didn't see this panic attack coming. I tried to sooth myself but it wasn't working. I took out my phone and called Elena.

"Missing me already?" She giggled.

"Of course you're that irresistible." I felt instantly so much calmer.

"I feel the same way about you." She said.

"How are you doing?" I asked her as I needed to hear her voice.

"Better." Elena said.


	10. Chapter 10

**TW - SH**

* * *

Elena's POV

When I got home from my date with Damon last night no one was home. I was relieved and by the time John did get home he was so drunk that he passed out. I was happy not to deal with him for one night. It was sunday morning and I got up early and made John his breakfast. I was hoping if I woke up early enough I could avoid seeing him. It worked and I made it back up to my room before anyone was awake. I sat in my bed and I got a text from Damon saying good morning. It made me smile. I called him and we talked for a few minutes.

A knock at my door interrupted us. My door slammed open and it was John. My eyes widen as he looked angry. "I have to call you back later." I said before hanging up the phone. "What?" I asked my uncle.

"Who were you on the phone with?" He yelled.

"A friend from school." I backed up on my bed till my back was touching the headboard.

John shook his head. 'It didn't sound like you were talking to a friend." He walked closer. "You were talking to some guy weren't you?"

"No!" I yelled.

"Tell me the truth!" He pulled me by my hair, dragging me off my bed.

"Fine okay! I was talking to a guy from school about a project." I cried.

"Fucking lying slut!" He let go and threw me into my dresser.

I fell to the ground. "Please John I'm sorry!" I apologized weakly.

John kicked me a few times. I screamed and with each kick he went in harder and harder. The front door opened and John immediately stopped and left me there in pain on the middle of my floor. I cried silently as I heard my brother go into his room. I assumed he snuck out this morning to buy more drugs. I couldn't move for about an hour. I was physically weak and emotionally distraught. When I gained enough energy I managed to crawl onto my bed. I cried there for awhile then I ran out of tears. I was in so much pain. I needed a release. I reached for the knife under my mattress. I rolled up my sleeve and stared at the scars on my arm. I thought of Damon and the promise I made to him. I wanted to badly to keep it but I couldn't do it. I pressed the blade to my skin and made several fresh cuts. I laid there as the blood rolled down my arm. I was numb.

* * *

Damon's POV

I got off the phone with Elena. I was worried about her but I didn't want to overwhelm her so I texted her that I hoped everything was okay. I walked into the kitchen and made lunch for myself. Stefan wasn't home but I knew he'd be hungry so I made a second sandwich and stuck it in the fridge. I started doing the homework the was due next week. I had to write an essay about my family. I was dreading it all week since it was due. I tried to start it five times but I kept deleting it. I looked over at the living room and flashes of my dad flooded my head. I rubbed my eyes but it didn't help. I stood up and grabbed my notebook. I couldn't be here right now. I couldn't write this here. I got in my car and drove around before I knew it I was at the bar down the street. I walked in and showed the bartender my fake id and she brought me bourbon. I wasn't much of a drinker but I needed to be drunk to write this essay.

"Damon?" I heard my name as I finished the end of my drink.

"Alaric." My eyes widen as I saw him here.

"What are you doing here?" He was confused as to why I was in the bar.

"Nothing I was just leaving." I grabbed my notebook.

The bartender came over. "Want another refill Mr. Brooks?" She asked me.

Alaric chuckled. "Yeah do you want another refill Mr. Brooks?" He raised his eyebrow.

I shook my head. "I'm good." I felt like a jackass.

"Let's go sit down. I think we need to talk." He suggested.

I followed him to the booth and sat down. "Listen it's been a rough day and I needed an escape." I sighed.

"What's going on with you?" He asked me with concern.

"It's this essay. The prompt is 'What makes your family special.' but I can't answer it." I felt defeated. "I sat in my living room starting at it and I nearly lost my damn mind thinking about all the pain my family has put me through Rick."

His face softened. "I know you're going through hell kid but you can't do this. You can't go back to the way you were before. You have to do better and if you need help then you have to ask for it." Alaric advised me.

"I know and I don't want to go back. I want to move forward but how can I do that and still answer this question?" I asked him.

"Who is family to you. Family isn't just the people that are related to you. Family is the people you choose to be in your life." Alaric looked at me. "You can answer this. I believe in you kid."

"Thanks for that. For everything. You're always having my back and you have no idea how much that means to me." I smiled.

"Anytime buddy." We stood up and he patted my back. "I'm going to need that fake id now."

I chuckled. "Fine." I took it out of my wallet and handed it to him.

* * *

Elena's POV

I woke up in pain everywhere. I sat up slowly and crawled to the bathroom. I got into the tub and ran the water. I laid in the pain completely broken inside and out. I watched as the dried blood from my arm washed off. The burning water numbed the pain I felt from being kicked in the back and stomach. I couldn't take this anymore. I felt like I was screaming inside but no one can hear me and I can't turn it off. I needed help I knew I needed someone. I eventually worked up the strength to get out of the tub and I wrapped myself in a towel. I looked in the mirror and it was scary. I wrapped my hair in a towel and put on black sweats. A long sleeve blush pink shirt. It was five in the morning. I couldn't handle the pain anymore. I wish I could take something to fix it. I walked out of my room very slowly and into my brother's room. He was sleeping. I dig through his bag and looked for his white pills. I knew they were oxy. I found a whole bag of it. I glanced over at him. He was sleeping peacefully. I opened the bag and took a hand full. I put the bag back and went into my room. I took one and put a couple in my purse and then the rest under my bed in a box. I dried my hair and put on a little mascara and lipstick.

I felt the oxy kick in and I felt so much better. Damon texted me that he was outside. I grabbed my bookbag and went outside. I smiled when I saw him. "I didn't know you were going to be driving me to school today?" I said as I sat down.

"Well I couldn't not pick my girlfriend up that would be rude." He chuckled.

"Where's Stefan? I asked, realizing he wasn't in the car.

"He already left by the time I got out of the shower." Damon pulls out of my driveway.

"Wow." I laughed. "Hey if you pick me up tomorrow can you park down the street?" I asked him.

"Yeah sure. Why?" He asked me.

"My uncle. He doesn't know about us." I was scared to know what he would do if he knew that I was dating someone after the way he reacted to me talking to a boy.

"Are you going to tell him? Is he overprotective?" Damon wondered.

"I don't think that's the best idea. He doesn't want me dating anyone." I wanted to change the subject. "So how was your sunday?"

"It was alright. Just working through some stuff with this essay due next week." He mentioned.

"Is everything okay?" I worried. "Do you need help with it?"

"Yeah yeah everything's great just have to sort some things out." Damon said as we pulled up to school.

"Okay well if you need help just ask me and I'm there." I smiled sweetly.

"You're the cutest." He kissed me.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **I'm not going to continue this if there isn't any readers so if you want me to please review.**


	11. Chapter 11

Damon's POV

The past few years I've been miserable and angry inside. I was arrogant and cocky but overall an asshole. I took my pain out on everyone and everything in my path. I've felt alone and fighting to change for my brother's sake. I did change but not because I wanted to but because I had to for Stefan. I did it all for him. I was still so unhappy, so depressed. I didn't care about myself but suddenly I find myself smiling when I think about Elena. She makes me want to be better not for her but for myself. She makes me want to be happy. It's crazy at how fast I fell for her but it feels so right. I felt so lucky to be with someone like Elena. She's so warm and kind.

"So what are we doing tonight?" I smiled as I sat down at the lunch table next to my gorgeous girlfriend.

She kissed my cheek. "I don't know if I'm up for much. I'm kinda tired." Elena mentions.

I nodded. "We can watch a movie on the couch or something?" I asked her. We had off from school tomorrow so it was kind like the weekend.

"Yeah that sounds nice." She smiled as she tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Awesome. I'll come by around six?" I asked her.

Her eyes widened. "Uh why don't I come over to your house instead."

"Why is your uncle going to be home or something?" I wondered. I didn't know if I was ready to have her over my house yet.

"Yeah and it just isn't a good idea." She frowned. "But I'm more than happy to come over your house."

I rubbed my head. "I don't know." I said nervously.

"Why what's going on?" She wondered. "It's just you and Stefan right?"

"Yeah." I took a breath. "It's fine you can come over, sorry about that. It's just messy." She laughed.

"I don't mind." Elena smiled.

I wasn't going to let my fears ruin this relationship. I had to face the fact that Elena is going to find out the things that happened here. I wanted to keep her from it as long as I could but I trust her not to walk away from this because I have a difficult past.

Elena's POV

I went home with Damon after school. I was excited to get out of the house. I couldn't handle another beating from John. My body needed to rest and I felt safe around Damon. We pulled up to his house and Damon opened my door. I stepped out of the car and my eyes widened.

"Wow this house is so big!" I said, shocked.

"Yeah it's been in the family forever. It use to be a boarding school." Damon explained as we walked to the front door.

We walked into his house and it was really nice inside. "I can't believe you live here." I looked around the room.

"Yeah it's pretty big." Damon said uncomfortably.

"I'm sorry." I said realizing he was uncomfortable.

"It's fine." He smiled and kissed me. "Let's go to my room."

We walked up the staircase and into his room. It was pretty big as well, he had his own fireplace and bathroom. His room was really dark and spacious.

I sat on his king sized bed. "I like your room." I looked around.

He sat next to me. "I like you." He smirked as he kissed me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back. He slipped his tongue into my mouth, deepening the kiss. His lips were so soft. We fought for dominance. This felt so right. I laid on my back and Damon climbed on top of me. Damon was so gentle with me. I unbuttoned his navy blue shirt and rubbed my hands over his hard lithe muscles. He was in such good shape. I kissed him passionately and felt his hand rubbing against my upper thigh. I ran my fingers through his jet black hair and he kissed my neck.

"Damon." I moaned, feeling his hot breath on my neck.

He looked into my eyes. "You're so breathtaking." He whispered softly, cuping my face.

I felt so wanted in that moment. "We should slow down." I said nervously, hoping he wasn't disappointed.

Damon nodded. "Yeah of course. You're right." He rolled over and I sat up.

I wanted to keep going but I couldn't risk him seeing my bruises. My body wasn't exactly beautiful with the scars and bruises. I looked horrifying in the mirror. Damon buttoned his shirt and looked over at me. I couldn't help but smile as he reached out for my hand. We intertwined hands and he pulled me into his arms. We laid there in each others arms for a while till we drifted off to sleep.

Damon's POV

I woke up to the sound of crying. I rubbed my eyes, thinking it was the tv but it was turned off. I sat up in confusion, looking over at Elena. I realized we had fallen asleep on accident. She was sweating and I noticed she was breathing really heavy. She was having a nightmare as someone that had frequent nightmares seeing someone else have one was hard to watch. Elena was mumbling things under her breath. I couldn't make anything out but she sounded scared.

I kissed her cheek softly and rubbed her arm. "Elena?" She didn't move. "It's okay. You're okay." I tucked the hair in her face behind her ears.

Her eyes blinked open and stared at me with confusion. "Damon?" She slowly sat up. "What's wrong?" Elena asked with concern.

"You were having a bad dream." I informed her. "Do you remember it?" I was curious to know what was making her so scared.

She shook her head. "Sorry about that I didn't mean to scare you." Elena felt bad. "I don't usually have bad dreams."

"Don't apologize it's perfectly okay." I pulled her in close, holding her in my arms. "I get nightmares so I understand how they can be really scary." She was still shaking.

"I'm sorry you have to deal with that. It must be really difficult." She took my hand into hers, sympathizing with my pain. "If you want to talk about them I'm here always."

I smiled at her realizing how lucky I was in this moment. "I'm really happy to have found you." She blushed.

"Ditto." Elena smiled and it turned into a yawn.

I looked at the clock and my eyes widen. "It's 3 in the morning!" I jumped out of bed grabbing my phone and keys.

Elena sat there watching me panic. "Damon it's fine." She motioned for me to stop getting ready to leave.

"Isn't your uncle going to freak out that you stayed out so late?" I looked at her wondering why she wasn't freaking out like I was.

"No he probably won't notice I'm not there." She said staring at her fingers, uncomfortable.

"I thought he was so overprotective that you couldn't even tell him about us? How would he not notice you were gone if that was the case?" I questioned her, she tensed up.

"He's not overprotective he's just an asshole and if he knew I wasn't home then I would be getting calls." She held up her phone with zero notifications on it. "He won't notice I'm not there but if I sneak in the odds of him waking up." She exhaled with fear in her tone of voice, covering her face with her hands.

I sat on the bed next to her and rubbed her back. "Hey it's fine." I whispered. "You can stay here tonight."

"Thank you." She said softly, placing a kiss on my lips.

I laid back in my bed and Elena cuddled into my chest. It felt so nice having her here with me. It was comforting not to be so anxious. I was worried about her not about me. The nightmare and the fear I noticed in her voice. It scared me and I wanted to take her fears away.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Thank you for the reviews if you keep it up I'll update more. This story is very emotional to write.**


	12. Chapter 12

Elena's POV

I woke up the next morning in Damon's arms. I didn't wake Damon up I wanted to remember this moment for as long as I could. It was so serene feeling that level of safety and comfort. I haven't woken up feeling this secure since before my parent's accident. I wished I could stay with him forever but I knew that was a stupid dream. It was depressing most girls my age dreamt of getting into colleges, going on vacations and traveling but me? I just want to have a day where I'm not scared to death to be in my own home.

"Elena?" Damon said, blinking his eyes open.

"Good morning handsome." I smiled and kissed his cheek. He made me so happy.

He smiled back. "What a nice way to wake up." Damon sat up, stretching.

"What's on today's agenda?" I asked him, he shrugged.

"I'm going to go grab a shower." Damon got out of bed. "Make yourself at home. In the bottom drawer I have clothes that are too small if you want to change." He offered before he walked into the bathroom.

I grabbed my phone and was relieved not to have any messages. I sat up and felt the pain of my injuries. I went through my bag looking for the oxy. I took one in hopes to ease the pain like I did yesterday. I guess there's one good thing about having a drug addicted brother. I stood up and went through his drawer looking for something to wear. I found a pair of black sweatpants that had a string so I could adjust them. I looked desperately for a long sleeved shirt but I couldn't find anything but a white t-shirt. I took one of his hoodies out of his closet. It'll do. I changed into the sweatpants and it surprisingly fit decently. I removed my dirty shirt and before I could put the t-shirt on I heard the door open. My eye widened.

Stefan stood there in shock, looking at my body. "Get out!" I shouted, he snapped back into reality and shut the door.

I felt sick to my stomach. I quickly pulled the t-shirt on and the hoodie on top of that. I didn't know what to do about Stefan seeing me naked. I knew he saw the bruises. All the things he could do played out in my mind. I feared he would say something to Damon. I couldn't let that happen.

Damon came out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist. "Is everything okay?" He asked me with concern after hearing my shouting.

I nodded, anxiety filled me. "Yeah everything's fine. I found something to wear." I changed the subject.

He smirked. "You look cute in my clothes."

I blushed. "Look at you." I stood up and placed a kiss on lips.

* * *

Damon's POV

It was nice having Elena here with me. She brightened my morning. It was great how comfortable we've gotten with each other. This was a first for me. I went downstairs after getting dressed to find us the take out menus. I figured I would order a pizza for us and leave some out for my brother. I walked into the kitchen and saw Stefan.

"You're up early." I said surprised to see my little brother wake before me.

"Yeah I didn't sleep well." Stefan sat down at the table, biting into an apple.

I raised my eyebrow. "Why what's going on? Did something happened?" I asked with concern, he never lets anything interrupt his sleep.

"I'm fine but are you?" He questioned me, in a cocky tone.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I asked in confusion, opening the kitchen drawer to grab the menu.

"Oh I don't know maybe I should ask the girl in your room this morning." Stefan said casually.

I was caught off guard. "It's Elena. I told you we've seeing each other." I turned to my brother, holding the menu in my hand.

"Yeah but dude she's younger than you. You've been out one date with her and she's already spending the night." Stefan looked at me all kinds of judgement in his eyes.

"I didn't sleep with her if that's what you're asking." I said sternly. I was irritated with the tone in his voice.

"Be careful." Stefan said with concern before leaving the room.

I didn't like my brother looking at me like that. I have grown as a person so much and he knew that but he was acting like I was the old me again. I was so confused by his behavior. Why was he so angry that Elena and I were getting close fast. I've seen him treat girls like objects all the time and he has a problem with Elena and I? I knew that I treated her right. Things weren't adding up.

I went back up to my room and ordered the pizza.

"My brother was acting so strange." I said casually as we searched for a movie to watch with our food.

Elena gluped. "Really? Did he say way?"

"Nope." I looked over at her, she seemed worried. "It's fine. He was actually worried about the way I was treating you for some odd reason." I rolled my eyes, looking back at the tv.

"I mean that's good right?" Elena asked.

"Sure but I don't know the way he said it was like he knew something I didn't." The doorbell rang and I went downstair to get the food.

We ate and watched a movie. Elena and I spent the rest of the day together in bed. The way she made me forget about all anxiety was wonderful. Today was one of the best days I've had in a long time.

Elena's POV

It was time for me to go home. I didn't want to. I had so much fun with Damon last night and today. We could talk for hours and never get tired of each other. I loved being around him and in his world. I got to escape my life for awhile. It wasn't something I was ready to leave but I had to. He dropped me off around ten.

"I had an amazing time with you Damon." I blushed, placing a kiss on Damon's cheek.

He ran his finger through my hair. "As did I." Damon kissed my lips, softly. "Sleep tight baby."

I smiled, my heart melted. I got out of his car and waved bye, I walked to my doorstep before he took off.

I took another oxy before I went inside as the one from this morning was wearing off. I went inside and straight up to my room avoiding John. Jeremy was waiting for me.

"Hi? What are you doing in my room?" I asked in confusion.

He was angry. "I got home and went through my bag and noticed a few things missing." My older brother folded his arms.

I sighed. "I'm sorry." I avoided his glare. My stomach sunk once I realized he was here for his pills.

"Where is it?" He grabbed my purse.

"Hey!" I yelled, I pulled on my purse strap. "Hand it back!"

He ignored me. "You only have four left?" Jeremy looked at me with shock on his face once he found the bag of oxy.

I folded my arms. "So?" I grabbed my purse.

"Where is the other ones?" He questioned me.

"I took them." I admitted.

He laughed. "There's no way."

"I did!" I sat on my bed.

Jeremy's eye widened. "Are you crazy? Elena you're fifteen. Oxy is not something to mess with." He said, unsure how he let this happen.

"You're joking right? You're a drug addict." I looked at Jeremy with anger. "Who are you to tell me what to do?" He looked disappointed in me.

"I know I am but I don't want you to become one." He looked at me with concern I haven't seen from him in awhile.

"Why do you care so much?" I questioned him, my eyes watered with anger. "You don't care about me. You haven't cared in a long time." Tears fell from my face.

"I'm sorry Elena. I don't want it to be like this." He sighed.

"Then don't let it be this way." I looked at my brother. "Get some help. You're no good like this."

He stood up, wiping away my tears. "I do care." Jeremy walked to my door. "I promise." He left my room.

I sat there terrified of the pain I'll be in when I wake up tomorrow morning. I'm scared. It wasn't going to be easy.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **This will be the last chapter if i'm not getting feedback. I see the views are a lot higher than the reviews.**


	13. Update

Hey everyone,

This is a temporary chapter that I will be deleting by the next time I update if I do. I would like to know if anyone wants me to continue this story. I haven't gotten as many reviews lately and I use the reviews to guide me to know what everyone is thinking. The lack of reviews make me think people lost interest and if they do then I don't want to keep writing this story. I have plenty of ideas and a lot ready to go but I haven't uploaded since I'm not sure where anyone else stands. Please let me know if you would like to see more and what you would like to happen.


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